The Train

I have learned a lot of things from my students. My Korean students taught me impossible tongue twisters about giraffes with long and short necks to help me study the Korean language. My never-ever Aussie cheerleaders reminded me to try new things, like they did when they decided to give my dance team a go. But one student in particular, a woman in her forties who bravely traveled to one of the nicest ski resorts in America—by herself—to learn snowboarding, said one important phrase to me which I have not yet forgotten. She said, with her upbeat, confident attitude, "Honey, there's a train headed to the real world, and that train leaves everyday." I often think about this moment and this comment, and I feel comforted to know these words of wisdom.

Of all the amazing people I've met in my life in recent years, some of them have outstanding careers and nice things; some of them have spent ages traveling around the world and have interesting stories to share. Often, I wonder who did it right? Did some get on the train too soon? Did some get on too late? Did some forget to get on the train at all? Is it possible to have my cake and eat it too? I think about my own life: when should I get on the train? Should I take an express train or the scenic route? Which brings me to the largest question of all, where exactly is the train even going?

I had originally dedicated one full year after college (and a half if you count the semester I graduated early and wrote my honors thesis...okay, maybe I’ll go for two now while I’m at it) on a pursuit to explore the world and live freely. I'd assumed this would be my only opportunity to be 'not so tied down'. I postponed a promising career in television to do so. But, from time to time, I stop and wonder if I’m being foolish. I feel very fortunate to have had this unique opportunity—there have been so many great, new, exciting and different things experienced and accomplished...working in Korea and being among people who look just like me...backpacking through Thailand and changing beds every few days...and reaching many many adrenaline highs from making sweet turns in the pow pow, learning how to spin, and mastering moguls on the mountains in Vail. It's hard to summarize the memories and lessons learned, but it's full of smiles. On the other hand, it's been emotionally exhausting to pick up and move every few months and to plan where to go next; to make good friends and then have them spread out all over the globe, at risk of never seeing them again; and to have no idea what your address is or where to go for a haircut.

As I have struggled with the high demands of my job this summer, I have learned one very important thing, something I perhaps already knew. Spending an overwhelming number of personal hours grading papers, so my kids can have specific, detailed comments on their essays, made me realize how much I’d rather be doing something I love. Teaching is not my career, though I do enjoy it. Rather, after taking thousands of pictures and writing these blogs, I feel even more assured that my calling is to be a journalist. I’m not talking current events, or politics or even pop culture…but the part about documenting experiences, creating pieces of work, and finally, sharing them with others…these are things I do naturally, without even thinking!

At this moment, I have reached another turning point. My job finishes in two weeks, and my plans for after that are long overdue—as airfare prices are rising with each moment of hesitation. I once again think about the real world, and my approach towards it. I hope to do another winter in Vail first, which is the greatest place I can think of right now. Maybe I can work with MHD again if they’ve still got an open shop. And then, I just may be done living the vida loca. In the meantime, I hope to sort out some Europe plans within the next few days, though that feels rushed for the slow decision maker that I am. The real world can wait another year, I think. Sometime soon, I will get back on track, but for now, I'm enjoying the small detour from the train.